Through The Matrix by Suzanne Lie and the Arcturians : Chapter 1-10
THROUGH THE MATRIX
I just moved into a new house. That is a “new house” to me, as the house is actually quite old. I inherited this house from my Grandmother who had lived there her entire life. The house is very big with many rooms, as well as a cellar and an attic. The cellar had far too many spiders, but as soon as I was settled in, I decided to explore the attic.
I climbed the small stairway, which was behind the mysterious locked door, for which I had finally found the key. It was an old fashioned key, an old fashioned keyhole, and an old fashioned door. Of course, my Grandmother cherished the house exactly as it had always been.
Therefore, outside of important repairs and appropriate painting, the house remained the way it had always been. I spent many summers at Grandma’s house, and searched vigilantly to find the key that I now held in my hand. The fact that Grandma never let me go into the attic only made me more and more anxious to enter it.
I am sorry that my Grandmother’s death is the reason why I could find the key that will, eventually, open the attic door. In fact, I have lived here every summer of my life. My parents were not too interested in raising their only child, me, so it was boarding school during the school year and Grandma’s house in the summer.
My mother had a nanny who sort of watched me when I wasn’t at Boarding School or Grandma’s house. However, the nanny was too expensive, so my parents dropped me off to live with my Grandmother fulltime when I was only 8 years old.
They did not even wait for Grandma to open the door when they rushed off to wherever they went. I was never so relieved when Grandma’s smiling face welcomed me into her, which was now our, home. I lived there happily with Grandma until I went away to college.
Thank Heavens for Grandma, or my Mother would have put me in a Boarding School all year round. However, I should not speak ill of my parents as they died in a horrid car accident when I was only 13. Because I had such a history of living with my Grandmother, the state allowed me to continue living with her.
It was the happiest moment of my life when I knocked on Grandma’s door with all my cherished possessions in boxes beside me. My parents barely said good-by to me and rushed off to wherever they went the second that Grandma opened her door. Somehow, I knew that this was the last time they would drop me off at my Grandma’s house, and that I would not see them again.
I was never so relieved than when I say Grandma’s smiling face welcomed me into her, which was now our, home. I lived there happily with Grandma until I went away to collage. I never saw my parents again.
I must say that my self-esteem was pretty damaged by my parents’ behavior, but Grandma’s constant love made up for that. However, now, as a young woman, I was alone. Unfortunately, Grandma left this world just before I finished college, but she left her home and everything she had to me.
There was a bit of money in the package, so I toured Europe for the summer after my graduation. I think it was too much for me to go to Grandma’s house and not find her waiting for me with a warm hug and freshly baked cookies. But, eventually, I had to go home to what was no longer Grandma’s home, but my house.
The last time that I saw my parents was right after I finished High School. I guess they thought their job was done, and they no longer needed to pick me up in the Fall and take me to boarding school. However, I did not realize they would buy a home far away and never invite me to see them.
I must say that my self-esteem was pretty damaged by my parent’s behavior, but Grandma had always made up for that. However, now, as a young woman, I was alone. That is accept for a very few friends from college and my beloved Grandmother.
Now, I didn’t even have my Grandmother. Fortunately, having Grandma’s house made me feel that I had I would always be close to her essence, as well as all my wonderful memories. Now the home that I had always loved to visit, was actually MY home.
However, there I was, standing in front of the door, key in the lock, but hesitating to turn it. I knew that I would NOT smell the fresh baked cookies, or enjoy the wonderful smell that always filled her home.
At least she had died suddenly, and in her beloved home. I am still guilty that I did not leave Europe to come to her funeral. However, I had a very vivid dream the very night after she died in which she came to me and said, “I have asked in my will, which I have attached, that I be cremated.
I ask that you do not leave your vacation to come to my cremation. I will come to you. Please allow me that final joy of showing you the lovely Lightbody that I now wear.”
Sure enough, that very next evening, Grandma came to me in a body of Golden Light. The only thing she said was, “Beloved Granddaughter, I have left everything I had to you, and most important, I have left you the key to the attic.
“I love you so deeply that I want to tell you that I now know that life is eternal and death is an illusion. Therefore, my love for you is infinite. Please remember that I will always love conditionally beyond all space and time.”
I was very confused by the “beyond all space and time” comment, as that was not the way my Grandmother spoke. Nonetheless, the statement made me cry uncontrollably, but not just for sorrow. Instead, I cried for the great love that I had always felt from Grandma, and for the love I would always have for her.
Finding the Journal
When I first returned from Europe, I went to Grandma’s resting place with a huge bouquet of her favorite flowers. However, as I got closer and closer to her “resting place,” I knew that I would not be able to face her grave, so I turned the other way, away from the cemetery and away from what remained of my grandmother’s body.
Then, after a few months living in Grandma’s house, I was finally ready to go to her final resting place. I was very tempted to turn away again, but then I remembered the vision of her in a golden body, which gave me great comfort. Also, I wanted to thank her for all the money that she had left me.
I still wonder how an elder woman who never seemed to have a job could have so much money. My parents had been very tight with the money they gave me, and said it was because my Boarding School was so expensive. But, later, I learned that my Grandmother had paid for all my education, including Boarding School.
When I was in High School, I found out that Grandma was paying for my education. I tried many times to ask Grandma how she could afford to give me all that money, but she always said, “Don’t worry about it dear. It is all taken care of.”
I never found out what she meant by, “It is all taken care of,” but years later she was still able to leave quite a bit of many after she had passed on. It was this money that allowed me to go to Europe and still not have to work for quite a while.
Fortunately, I was smart enough to get a good money manager, who put me on a budget, or I might have blown through my money like my parents always did. I am now enrolled in graduate school, which will not start for quite a few months.
I made that decision, so I would have to go to graduate school, but I would have more time off to get me life together, which included focusing my attention on taking care of “my” house, the large yard, and exploring the “locked attic” that Grandma would never let me enter.
In fact, she even refused to talk about the attic, which gave it such a great sense of mystery that made me want to enter it even more. Then, the other day I was rummaging around in some boxes in the pantry and found a key that said, “Attic” on it.
You would think that I would instantly run up and go into the attic, but now that I could enter it, I was afraid. Grandma was not a timid woman, so when she never allowed me to enter the attic, my childhood-self made up all kinds of stories of what mysterious things were happening in the attic.
As an adult I knew these stories could not be true, but the fear that my stories created, still remained deep inside of me. So, again, I found many reasons why I was “too busy” to explore the attic and put the key in a “safe place,” which I unconsciously made myself forget.
As soon as I realized that I was letting my fear get the best of me, I began my search to “find the key.” Of course, I searched the house for months and could not find it. Then, finally, one day, I was in a hurry to go on a date and could not find the necklace that I wanted to wear.
In my hurry and aggravation, I turned the jewelry box upside down to dump everything on my dresser. And then there, much to my surprise, was the key tapped to the bottom of my jewelry box. I instantly recognized the key and ran towards the door to the attic. But when I got to the door, I paused.
Why was I so afraid to go into that attic? It had been many months that I had very happily lived in this house. “There was no reason for my feelings,” I told myself again and again. For two days I tried to convince myself to open the hall door and walk the stairway up to the attic.
Then, I had another dream of Grandma in her Golden Body. All she said was, “Do not be afraid my love.” She might have meant something other than the key, but as soon as I awoke I put on some jeans and a t-shirt, took the key from the bottom of my jewelry box, and headed for the door to the attic.
When I had climbed the steep stairs up to the attic door, and stood there for are too long, I finally got the courage to put the key into the lock. I was almost hoping that the key did not fit, but it fit perfectly. In fact, it was also as if the key turned itself.
I tried not to ponder on that strange sensation, as I already had more adrenalin then I needed. The door opened as easily as the key turned. “This is weird,” I told myself. “One would think that such an old key would not work so easily on such an old door.
I did not realize that the high window towards the top of the house was for the attic, but there it was, with the Sun shining brightly on a particular pile of old papers. Since everything that had happened so far was surrealistic, I decided to look at that pile of papers first.
I carefully moved the loose papers and found a bound manuscript just under them. It was as if those papers had been put there to hide, or protect, the bound manuscript, which I carefully picked up. As I opened the manuscript to the first page, I found an introduction, which I will share, word for word. It was written by a person called Shara Lynn.
In fact, the manuscript was a journal, and it was written by someone named Shara Lynn. I am sure my Grandmother got this journal, which eventually turned out to be more like a book, at one of the many old bookstores she loved to go to. Was this the book that she always seemed to be looking for?
I remember going with her to many old bookstores and the joy of rummaging through the old book stacks in search of the mysterious book that Grandma was always looking for. I wonder if the book I just found is the one she was always looking for?
I guess I will never know the answer to that. However, if I read the book, I might get some clues as to what my Grandmother was up to. It was then that I began to silently cry. Up until then, I had pushed my sorrow away into a safe place until I was ready to visit it.
But, as I thought of the memory of looking through old, used bookstores with Grandma, searching for something that she never shared with me, I was suddenly filled with the great sorrow of losing her. Then, as I remembered all the wonderful times I had spent with my beloved Grandmother, I began to sob uncontrollably.
Finally, my tears spent, I was able to carefully open the old book to discover what was inside. To my surprise, the book was actually written by a person named Shara Lynn, and it was her personal journal.
Who was this Shara Lynn, and how did my Grandmother get her journal? “Well,” I told myself, “You will not find out until you take the book downstairs and start reading it.”
Thank Heavens, the “practical me” took over before the “sorrowful me,” and “the more lonely than I thought person could ever be me” took over. However, before I go more into my own problems, I want to share the first chapter with you.
“Wait! Who is this “me?” I thought? For some reason the name Shara Lynn kept running around in my mind. “Who is this Shara Lynn, and why does she keep coming into my mind?” I yelled to no one.
Once again, I felt an emanation, NO, I am sure it was the essence of my Grandmother’s sweet voice saying , “Read the book dear. I left it here for you.” Now I was really spooked to hear my Grandmother answer my thoughts. However, I then realized that she had been answering all my thoughts since she had passed on. (I cannot bare to say the word “died.”)
I think the reason why I actually opened the book and started to read it was to distract myself from my sorrow. I have always loved a good mystery, and this was, indeed, a mystery. Therefore, I took the book firmly in my hands, left the attic, walked down the long stairs and locked the door again.
Why did I feel a need to lock the door, and why did I “hide” the key to the attic in my jewelry box again? I am now able to realize that I was, indeed, following some form of “higher guidance,” but I did not even know about that term back then.
Even with the key back in my jewelry box and the, manuscript, or was it a book, recovered and waiting next to my bed, I did not even open it for more days that I can remember.
Why was I so frightened by this manuscript? But maybe it was not just any “manuscript?” What if it had something in it that I did not want to know. “STOP,” I told myself. “What could be so “scary” about what was likely my Grandmother’s Journal.
I was about to find out.
Who Is Shara Lynn?
When I finally found the time, actually it was the courage, to open the book, which was a form of a journal, and start reading it, I realized it was written by some one known as Shara Lynn. I had no idea that I would develop such a deep and binding relationship with someone that I had met in a journal.
But enough introduction. I realize that I am avoiding documenting my experience. Maybe that is because you, meaning whatever “you” reads my story, will think me a bit crazy. I keep wanting to make this journal that I found a fiction, but then I keep hearing my Grandmother’s distant voice saying, “A journal is a truth that one may not be ready to know.”
If I am talking with my Grandmother “on the other side,” I guess I can believe that the Shara Lynn in the Journal, who is also “on the other side ” could be real too. I also have realized that, in order to document and share my story, I have to believe it is real, because I am experiencing it that way.
I also feel that I need to tell you, dear reader, that I had NEVER thought of “the other side” before my Grandmother’s passing. I was a college student and went by the rules of “regular society.” There I am again, talking like what I used to call, “a weirdo.” I feel that I want to warn you that what I am writing seems more like a science fiction, but to me it is science fact.
OK, OK, I will NOW introduce “The Journal,” as I call it, by sharing it with you, meaning whatever “you” who finds and reads it. However, I must be honest with myself. Therefore, I will tell you, dear reader, exactly what happened to me.
I could feel a change in myself almost as soon as I opened the Journal, but enough about me, I will now tell you about what I read in the Journal. I am not sure who wrote it, but the narrator of the storyline is a young teen named Shara Lynn. I will begin with what was written on the very first page:
Dear possible readers,
I, Shara Lynn, am about to tell you a story that I must tell. I do not know why I must tell it, but this story haunts me night and day, that is until I write it down.
Once I have documented what is happening to me, and what is occurring within the “other world” to which I have been introduced, I can finally find the peace to go to work, run some errands, have a normal conversation with a friend, and/or get some sleep.
It was my inability to sleep that prompted me, or did it force me, to write down these most unusual experiences that I have been having. I ask that you do not judge me as harshly as I have judged myself while going through this experience.
However, now I must admit that experiencing, dreaming of, and remembering what appears to be some kind of “parallel reality,” has changed my life forever. Yes, it has been a change for the good because I now understand myself more than I ever did when I was “just a normal human.”
Therefore, I, Shara Lynn, promise to document all my experiences in this Journal. I do not know what will happen, or even what is happening to me right now. All I do know is that, somehow, I have found myself in “The Flow of The Great In-between.” In fact, even now, I am speaking from “The flowing time of the Great In-between.”
For some reason, of which I am unsure, I, Shara Lynn, was chosen, in some way, and by some unknown source, to be the Emissary. The Emissary is the one who can consciously “go-between” that which is closing and that which is just opening. This area is called, “The Flowing Time of the Great In-between”
I am sorry if I am speaking in a confusing manner, but I have not yet come to terms with what is occurring in our world. I am just a teenager, not even yet a young woman, so I do notunderstand why I was chosen to document this event. I guess I was chosen because I was the first one who could perceive this great change.
That is, I was the only who could clearly perceive it. Shalone, our Leader and ancient Medicine Woman, has known her very long, life about “The Flowing Time of the Great In-between.” She waited and meditated and served us all, to assist us to prepare for this event.
Shalone can feel the flow of the “flowing time” of Great In-between, but her eyes are now dim, her hearing poor, and she must sleep many hours for she is over 100 years old. Therefore, she has chosen me to be her eyes and ears, as she knows that I am among the very few in our worldwho can perceive the flowing time of the Great In-between.
In fact, most people do not know about this “flowing time,” and have never experienced the Great In-Between at all. What do I mean by “Our World?” It seemed that just yesterday I believed that there was only one world, and our small community was the focal point for all reality.
But now that I have seen the bigger picture, I realize how innocent and naive I was before I had my first glimpse of “The Great In-between.” I have tried to tell several people about what I have experienced, but only Shalone would listen to me. In fact, it seemed that I frightened the others when I tried to tell them of my experience.
Shalone told me that change is one of the most frightening things for many adults. It was for that reason that I, a young teen who is barely a woman, was chosen to be the Emissary between the reality we have always known and the flow of the Great In-between.
No one, not even Shalone, knows what is on the other side of the Great In-between. Some believe that there is nothing on the other side, and some believe that a grand new kind of reality is awaiting us on the other side of the Great In-between.
However, only Shalone and I know about the “flowing time.” We do not know too much about this flowing time, but we do know that it does exist because we have experienced it. Shalone has told me to write a journal, and to NOT tell our people, yet, that I have seen the other side of the Great In-between, and especially do not tell anyone about the “Flowing Time.”
Shalone told me that if anyone is ready to know this information, they will come to me. That directive made me feel more secure because, actually, I could not tell any one as I have no manner in which I could describe it. Also, I think, but I am not sure, that I actually saw “The Other Side” of the Flowing Time, and maybe I just dreamed it, or even imagined it.
Shalone, in her great wisdom, told me that the only way to perceive the Great In-between and the Other Side is through the flowing time of our own dreams and imaginations. She told me that when we dream and imagine we expand the frequency range of our perceptions.
I did not understand what she meant by that sentence, but I have learned to just listen to what she says. Then, eventually, I understand it. Also, Shalone becomes quite upset when I ask questions.
She always says to me, “I do not know how much longer I will have this form. Therefore, you cannot become dependent on me to assist you. I can teach you how to look and listen with an Open Heart and Higher Vision. Once I have done that, I will leave this world and go Home.
Whenever Shalone even mentions the word “Home,” a light comes across her face. I have tried to ask her about that light, but she says, “You must find that answer for your self, as I will soon be leaving.”
The Other Side
I have learned not to cry when Shalone says that she is going Home, as it makes her VERY upset. “Are you crying for me or for yourself?” she asks with an angry voice. “You must be strong and listen to all I have to tell you.”
Therefore, I do not cry, or even ask too many questions. Even if I cannot hear her soft voice and ask her to repeat what she has told me, she says, “You must listen with your Heart and see with your Third Eye. That is the only way you will hear me once I am on the “Other Side.”
Of course, she refuses to tell me what the “Other Side” is. Instead, she tells me in a somewhat angry voice, “You must follow the flowing time of the in-between if you wish to find the Other Side. Also, you must find how to do this by yourself, for that is how you will hear me when I am gone from “this world.”
I finally know better than to ask her what she means by “this world,” and “Other Side,” but that is why I no longer believe that all reality is just our one small place. Again, I cannot share that information with anyone, or they would become very frightened and angry.
I often wonder why so many people in our world are so frightened by the unknown. Shalone once told me that the unknown, or anyone who wants to talk about the unknown, frightens most people. I have definitely found that statement to be true. Therefore, the problem is that, once we know a truth, our life becomes very lonely.
Of course, it is not always lonely now, as I can still talk with Shalone, but not too much, as well as with the birds, animals, trees, clouds, and especially the quiet ponds. Again, Shalone has warned me to NEVER tell any one that I can communicate with Nature in this manner. Once again, another reason why I will be horribly lonely when she leaves.
“No, no,” Shalone says after reading my mind. She does that a lot, reading my mind, I mean. Shalone says again and again, as I keep forgetting this truth, that the key to crossing into the Great In-between is to KNOW you are NEVER alone.
“Just because someone is invisible to your physical eyes, does not mean that person does not exist,” Shalone reminds me again. I do understand that statement, as I have always been able to talk with the Nature Spirits, which most people can never perceive. In fact, when I walk in the woods, I often hear the Nature Spirits calling me. But then they hide from me.
“Why do you call me if you are going to hide from me?” I ask in a frustrated manner. I know I am not frustrated with the Nature Spirits, but I often do get frustrated with my self.
“Now, Now, Dear,” says Shalone, as she can instantly feel my frustration. “Frustration is low-grade anger, and it will lower your perceptions. You know that if you ever lost your ability to speak with all the Nature Spirits you would be VERY lonely.”
I have to admit that she is correct. The Nature Spirits, and Shalone, have been my best friends for all of my life.
“When I leave,” Shalone reminds me, “you will speak with me in the same manner as you speak with the Nature Spirits. In fact, you will find my essence flowing around and through the Nature Spirits, for when I leave, I will also remain for I will ride ‘the flowing time of the in-between’. You see dear, “leaving” is a third dimensional concept.”
I guess I had best tell you about the third dimension now. Some people think that the third dimension is the physical world, but it is also much, much more than that. The “third dimension” is a reality in which we choose to see that which we have always known and ignorethat which is new.
For example, those who only resonate to the third dimension cannot see or hear Shalone, and definitely cannot perceive, or are even be aware of, “The Great In-between.” Also, without the awareness of “The Great In-between,” there is no possibility for them to perceive “The Other Side.”
“The Other Side” is that which lies across “The Great In-between.” More and more of the children are being born with the ability to perceive both “The Great In-between” and “The Other Side. In fact, I can see when they “leave time” to visit “The Other Side.” I say, “leave time,” because “The Other Side” does not have time.
I know that for a fact because I have crossed “The In-Between” and gone into “The Other Side.” When I am there, it seems as though I live a long, long life. However, when I come back to my own world, I find that it is as though I never left.
“How can that be?” I have asked Shalone many times. But she never answers that question. She only smiles and says, “Wonderful dear, what did you learn there?”
“What did I learn there?” I must ask myself. “Well,” I say to my self, “I guess all I have learned is that I am not, yet, ready to stay there. And then, as soon as I return, I forget everything that I experienced. Why can’t I remember?” I ask Shalone.
Again, she smiles and says, “You are not ready yet dear. When you are ready you will remember.”
I would not want to be rude with her, but what kind of an answer is that? What am I not ready for? And if I am not ready, then why do I go there? I try not to ask Shalone that question any more, for she always ignores it, as if she did not hear me.
However, I can tell from the glimmer in her eyes that she has heard me, and has chosen not to answer me. Therefore, I am trying to cover my frustration with respect and patience. Of course, Shalone can read my frustration and, patience and kindly, looks right into my eyes to say, “What are you afraid of?”
I want to be angry and tell that I am not afraid of anything, but since I would never speak to Shalone in that manner, her question buzzes around my heart and flirts with my mind. “Why am I not ready?” I ask the trees, the sky, the water, the birds, the grass, and the rays of light that follow me through the woods.
Then, if I am very still and do NOT ask another question, I begin to hear with my heart and understand with my mind that I am just beginning something that is brand new. Therefore, I need to be patient with myself. Soon after that, Shalone comes to me to give me a long, silent hug.
She then turns and leaves me in my own uncomfortable silence. “But why is that silence uncomfortable?” I try to ask my self. It is then that my Inner SELF gives me an “inner hug,” and reminds me that questions are an illusion of my third dimensional world.
That is when I remember that it is only when I stop asking questions that I can remember that the answers are always within me. When I am able to be patient and allow the answers to come to be, I gradually become aware of “The Great In-between” floating into my awareness.
Then, “The Great In-Between” reminds me that it is actually a frequency of reality that enters me like a dream. However, I am fully awake and can simultaneously see my physical world all around me. I then see a possible entrance to another world, but only I can decide if, and when, I will choose to enter it.
So far, I have not entered it. Sometimes I become very close to the “threshold between worlds,” but then a friend calls, I remember some very important thing I must do, or I fall out of the experience, like one would “fall out” of a tree.
However, there is no falling or landing on the ground. Instead, that possible reality, which is like a flower that is almost ready to bloom, just disappears. Then, all that I see is my everyday world and my everyday body.
“Why, why, why do I stop my self? What am I afraid of?” Almost every time, Shalone suddenly appears before me, gives me a hug, and says something like, “Good try. Next time you will be able to stay longer.”
She then leaves before I get a chance to ask any questions, even though I know she would not answer them. “That which you seek is found inside,” is the answer she has for all my questions. One day I will understand what she means by that.
I also know that it is on that day that she will disappear from my life.
Shara Lynn Goes To The Learning Tree
The thought of dear Shalone leaving my life, gave me the courage to finally address her with some of my many questions. However, it did take me nine days before I felt I could address her, as I knew I needed to time to gather my questions.
Of course, I began my process of gathering questions by communing with all my Nature Friends. I began with a huge tree that was probably even older than Shalone, but he (it was a male tree) laughed when I asked him to answer some of my questions.
“Haw, haw, haw,” the tree laughed so hardily that many of his older leaves fell to the ground. “Do you see how easily my leaves fall away to reveal the stable limbs to which they are attached? Dear human one, you are too attached to the question to allow the answer to reveal itself.”
“Thank you so very much, dear Father Tree,” I will try to allow the answers to fall into my heart and mind and easily as your leaves fall to the forest floor.
“Congratulations dear human one,” spoke the Father Tree into my heart and mind.”
As I left the Father Tree, I decided to walk deeper into the forest to see if I could find my answers there. However, I was so involved in my journey that I did not notice that the Sun was getting lower and lower on the horizon.
Suddenly, I realized that it was so dark that I could not find the way home to my village.
“Never wander through the woods without knowing where you are going,” dear Shalone had warned me many times. Therefore, I decided to ask the Father Tree if I could climb him, so that he could protect me through the dark night.
“Dear Human One,” said the Father Tree into my heart and mind. “If you stand on the huge rock next to my trunk, you will find that you can reach my lowest limb. This limb is strong enough to hold you throughout the night. When dear Sun rises, he will light the pathway back to your village.”
“Thank you so dear Father Tree,” I said as I easily climbed up the large rock and climbed up the tree and onto the wide, safe limb that would serve as my bed for the darkness. I sent a psychic message to Shalone that I was safe for the night in a nearby tree.
I knew that she had wanted me to conquer my fear of the forest at night and would be happy that I had made friends with the Father Tree. I felt her send me Unconditional Love as she reminded me that I would be protected by the tree. Shalone also told me to remember my dreams.
I did not understand what she meant until I awoke at dawn with a vivid dream still in my awareness. As Shalone had taught me, I repeated my dream to myself so that I would not forget it. I will now tell you my dream.
The first thing that I remember, was that I was standing before a group of Golden Women. What they said to me was, “We, The Ascending Ones, have some questions that we would like to ask you.”
Normally, I would be frightened to be in the company of such grand beings. However, there was such Unconditional Love streaming from their essence that I had no sense of fear at all.
In fact, I felt very comfortable. Just as the Father Tree made me feel safe and unconditionally loved, these Golden Beings also made me feel safe and Unconditionally Loved. I thought that I was going to be the one asking the questions, but I was very curious about what these Golden Beings would want to ask me.
Therefore, I muttered, “Ah, I mean, Ah YES, YES. Please ask me whatever questions you wish. I will try to be honest and sincere with my answers.”
It was then that the Golden Beings asked me the below question, which I realize now, I will be asking myself for the rest of my life. The first question that they asked me was,
“What is in-between where we are and where we are going?”
“Oh my,” I think I said out loud, as I stammered and shifted my feet. Finally, the voice of dearest Shalone came into my consciousness and reminded me, “When you are asked a question, simply tell the truth that lives within you within that NOW.”
Therefore, I took a moment to listen to my heart to find the truth that was within me in that NOW. What came from my mouth, almost without my knowledge, was,
“The rest of my life is in-between where I am and where I am going.”
The forest was totally quiet. It was as though all the beings of the forest were waiting for the reaction of the Golden Ones. When I thought that I could wait no longer, I felt my heart tingle as I heard the Golden Ones say in ONE voice, “Yes, your answer is correct for you within this NOW. Therefore we ask you to ask you,
“What do you Want to do with the rest of your life?”
I was totally shocked to realize that I had NO idea what I wanted to do with my life. At least, I had never taken the time to ask my self that question, or to have the courage to actually find the answer. I did know, very deep inside, that I REALLY wanted to do something, but I could not remember what it was.
“Remember how you chose to play when you were a child?”
Wonderfully, they were assisting me to find the answers that I had hidden from my self.
“Why did you hide these important questions from your self?”
They, whoever they were, were helping me. In fact, I could feel them sending me great love and acceptance. Their acceptance was so powerful that it ignited my courage to go deep, deep inside myself to find my answer.
I closed my eyes and put my right hand on my heart and my left hand on my forehead. I don’t know why I did that, but I just knew to do so. Then, suddenly, the answer flew into my heart and mind to tell me,
“You want to remember the Truth that you were given before you took this body.”
Yes, Yes, of course! I always knew that there was some kind of information, some form of truth that I had locked deep inside of me that I would not be able to recover until I was ready and willing to act on that truth.
“Oh NO,” I said inside, feeling my self-pity coming into my consciousness.
“NO! NO!” I cried so loudly that sleeping birds took to the sky and small creatures dug deeper into the earth. It seemed as if a distant thunder roared and tears began to flow down my face.
“Do you see the power that you hold within your self?”
“Yes, Yes, I answered the invisible voice. But, why have I never used it?” I asked the tree and the dark forest surrounding us.
This time, my question went unanswered. The forest was still, the tree was still as a stone, and all the small creatures had taken to their burrows and nests. I was alone again—alone with my self.
“No, you are NOT alone!” I heard an inner voice say. “Then, I fell fast asleep, but I had an amazing dream. The Learning Tree told me, while I was in the dream, to tell myself the dream as soon as I woke up, so that I would not forget it.
Therefore, I will now attempt to remember the message from the Learning Tree.
Shara Lynn’s Message from The Learning Tree
As I awoke from my sleep, I heard inside to repeat all that I have heard in my dream so that I would not forget it. Therefore, I will say my dream out loud so that all my Nature Friends will hear. Then, when I come back into these woods, they will be able to help me remember this important message.
I will now tell you what I heard in my dream:
The picture I can see from that dream is myself standing at the base of a huge golden stairway. I knew that if were to understand why I was there, that I would need to climb the stairway.
Each stair was quite large and almost too steep for me to climb. However, I knew that I MUST get to the top of this golden stairway, so I decided that I was, indeed, strong enough to make this journey!! So, resting a moment on each stair, I began to climb them, one-by-one.
I realized that it was very important that I rested on each stair, as each stair spoke to me. However, they did not speak to me in words. Each stair spoke to my bodily feelings, and different tones that came into my hearing.
Also, before I climbed each stair, it was gold, but once I stepped on it, different colors, which created different feelings, came into my vision as a color, into my hearing as a tone, and into my body as a feeling.
It took me a while, but eventually I realized that each stair was telling me something very important. However, I cannot remember the messages at all. However, I can remember that the colors from the bottom stairs to the top stair were:
The Red Stair seemed to activate something at the base of my spine…
The Orange Stair seemed to activate something in my lower abdomen…
The Yellow Stair seemed to activate something in my stomach…
The Green Stair seemed to activate something in my heart…
The Aquamarine Stair seemed to activate something in what I call my High Heart…
The Blue Stair seemed to activate something in my throat…
And the Purple Stair seemed to activate something on the top of my head…
I do not know why I had these sensations while climbing the stairs, but I do know that I felt like a different person when I got to the top of the stairway. I don’t know how to explain this “different me,” but I felt very strong and very loving.
But, then, much to my surprise, I woke up and found my self at the top of the tree. I do not know how that happened while I was sleeping, but I had to call out to Shalone for strength and courage to find my way down from the tree and onto solid ground.
After I called Shalone, in a more somewhat frightened manner, I hear her say, “Do NOT have fear dear ONE. You climbed up the tree, now YOU can climb back down the tree. Just think of the colors in reverse and that will help you.”
Oh, Beloved Shalone, how did she know that I was at the top of the tree? However, knowing that she was somehow with me, I found the courage to go back down the tree. In fact, it was even I who decided to go through the colors in reverse.
I found that when I called the color purple, I felt very strong, almost regal, and could feel a soft breeze across the top of my head. “Good” I unconsciously said to myself. “That is one stair down.
When I thought only about the color, and the place on my body that I could feel that color, don’t ask me how I “felt a color,” but somehow I did, I could easily, and calmly, climb down the tree. Before I knew it, I was standing on the big rock that seemed to lean against the tree.
As I walked home, I wondered if I would share my experience with anyone. Of course, Shalone already knew!
Shara Lynn’s Secret
As I walked the rest of the way back to our village, I decided that I would not tell anyone, even Shalone, what had happened to me. The area around our village was very safe, so it was not unusual for someone to go into those woods for a few days. But, I needed a reason to tell them where I was and what I was doing as I was only a teen.
Therefore, I started gathering some of the many herbs that grew wild in this area. The gathering of the herbs also gave me a break from thinking about what had happened to me. Gathering herbs in our nearby woods was normal. Also, when I came home with bundles of freshly picked herbs, no one would question where I was or what I had been doing.
When I entered the Village I found that it was in such of flurry of action that no one had even noticed I was gone. Therefore, my excuse to go into the woods to gather herbs was fine. In fact, most people had not noticed that I had been gone, or that I had returned.
However, I was very curious about the flurry of activity, so I stopped the first person that even noticed me to ask what was happening.
“Oh, don’t you know?” she responded in a distracted manner.
“No, I was gathering these herbs in the woods. What did I miss?”
“Well, I do not know how to describe it, but suddenly all these Light People, I mean people that were made of pure light, came into our village. Some of the villagers were frightened and ran to their homes and closed the doors and windows.
“However, other people, such as myself, have been seeing these ‘Light People,’ as we are calling them, in our dreams. Therefore, we wanted to find out who these beings are. But, no one can talk to them, or hear them.
“Then, just before you returned to the Village, the Light-People all disappeared. It is quite strange that they left as soon as you came here. Why do you think that is?” she asked me with a bit of suspicion. Should I tell her the truth? Or should I just play it safe and pretend that I had not seen them.
“Pretend you don’t know us.” I heard the familiar voice of the Light People. I wanted to know why they did not want me to tell the villagers about my experience, but I had grown to trust them. Therefore, I found an excuse to go to my home, where I could see if I could communicate with the Light People from there.
Fortunately, when I got home my parents were gone, so I had a chance to wash and change my clothes. I left the herbs in some water with a note to them that I had been picking these herbs and feel asleep in the woods. I told them that I was back now and had gone out to see why everyone was so excited.
What I did instead was to go back to the Learning Tree to see if I could get any answers there. When I got there, I could not see the tree because some kind of vortex was in front of it.
It was then that I saw the villagers coming towards the tree. Where could I go? I did not want to share my events of the night before with them, so I impulsively jumped through the vortex.
Once I had done so, I questioned my decision because I found that I was surrounded by the very same vortex. But now, it began to spin faster and faster and faster. I was becoming more and more dizzy, but in the past night I had learned to talk rather than react.
Therefore I said, “Dear Vortex, Please take me to your destination quickly, as I am becoming very dizzy.” Instantly, the vortex stopped spinning, but it was still a vortex. I looked for the entrance that I had entered, but I could not find it. In fact, I could not find the exit either.
The Vortex seemed to keep spinning even faster and faster, but then it suddenly stopped. “Thank you,” I said to the Vortex. Then, as soon as I said Thank You, a door appeared, which I quickly walked through before the spinning returned.
To my surprise, a tall and very slim person said, “Are you ready to release the Matrix?” I instantly knew that this was something else that I would need to keep as a secret. In fact, it was seeming that I was becoming more and more different from every one I had every known.
“Are you ready to release the Matrix?” the tall, slim person repeated.
“Well, well” I stammered, “What does that mean?” I said, trying to buy myself some time to think up an answer. However, the tall, slim one was up to my game and said, “I am busy! Did you come here to enter the vortex, or are you just a looking around?”
“Ah, ah” I stammered again, “Um, yes! But, please stop the Matrix from spinning. I am starting to feel sick.”
I thought that nothing could be more disconcerting than going around and around inside the Matrix, but the total and complete stillness that occurred when the funny man “stopped the matrix” was much more difficult for me.
First off, everything, and I mean “everything,” disappeared. That was everything except myself and the tall, slim man. Somehow we were standing on nothing in the vast reaches of no where. I though the swirling matrix was scary, but it was easy compared to being in the midst of no where and now when.
“Yes,” answered the tall, slim man who now introduced himself as, “Gregory.”
“How do you do Gregory. My name is Shara Lynn. Can you tell me where, and when, I am please?
“Well, Shara Lynn, I am afraid I cannot tell you what I do not know. However, I can see by what is left of your aura that you have spoken to Golden Ones and they have taken you “Up the Stairway.” I have spent most of my life trying to find someone who can show be how to do what you did.”
“How do you know what I did?” I tried not to yell.
“Now, now, dear human, do not be upset. You should be happy to meet me, as I am one of the very few who can lead you to your Path. Because you found your way into and through the Vortex, you are ready.
“Ready for what?” I asked trying not to be too rude.
“Why ascension, of course. You are ready to begin your ascension.”
Then there was a very long, very uncomfortable, quiet. Then, I finally found the nerve to ask him, “What is an ‘Ascension,’ and how do I find it.”
The tall, thin man, Gregory, looked at me with a totally confused expression on his face. “How did you get so far when you do not even know what “ascension” is?
When I did not answer, because I did not know what the term “ascension” meant, he began to laugh, or cry. I could not tell which, as he was laughing AND crying at the same time.
Gregory finally said, “Do you know how special you are?” Then he answered his own question before I could. “Oh yes, oh yes,” Gregory muttered, “It is the innocent ones who do NOT seek, who are the first to find.”
“What,” I said. I had no idea what he was talking about. That is unless he was talking about what happened at the Learning Tree. But, I had not told him, or any one, about that experience.
“I can read your thoughts and emotions,” said Gregory without any conceit. “You see, dear human one, I am a Guardian of the Threshold. It is my job to make sure that the few who come here are able to cross the Threshold to the fifth dimensional expression of their world.”
“The Threshold to the fifth dimension?” I exclaimed. “What does that mean? How do I cross over, and that is that a good thing or a bad thing?” I said so fast that I could hardly understand my self
Gregory smiled, in fact, I could tell that he wanted to laugh, but he was too polite to do so.
“Yes,” he said. “The power of innocence. Dear, innocent one, you must allow me to teach you, or you can get your self into a pack of troubles.”
I did not know what he was going to teach me, or what “pack of troubles” I would run into without his mentorship. However, he was correct in that I did NOT know where I was, how I got here, or where I was going.
At first, that loss of control felt freeing and filed with excitement. But now, I was finally realizing that something was happening to me. I knew nothing about this “something” except that it was VERY important, and would change my life, as well as the lives of the ones that I knew.
I could feel a great responsibility confronting me. At first, my teen self thought that this could be a great adventure. However, upon reflection, I no longer felt like a teenager, but I did not feel like an adult either.
“What will I do, and how will I manage it?” I silently called out to this new version of reality.
“We understand what you are feeling,” I heard a voice behind me say.
I turned to see my beloved Shalone standing there with open arms. I instantly felt the tears roll down my face, and I ran to my beloved mentor for the comfort that I did not realize I needed. As soon as Shalone’s arms embraced me I began to laugh and cry and laugh and cry.
“Now, I can be your guidance and support, but you had to make it to this frequency of reality on your own,” Shalone said with her comforting voice.
This “frequency of reality,” I asked.
Shalone merely hugged me again and kissed me on each check.
“Be patient, my dear, we are standing a the edge of time, so there is no need to hurry, and no need to wait. All will be revealed to you within the NOW of the ONE, which you have already begun to enter.”
I had a million questions, but Shalone’s warm hug grounded me and helped to realize that I was very hungry and extremely tired.
“Come,” said Shalone “I will feed you a descent meal, give you a glorious bath, and put you into a wonderful “air bed.”
“What is an air bed?” I asked, but she schussed me and led me to the most delicious mean I had ever eaten. When the meal was done, Shalone and I laughed and talked about old stories of no great importance.
These stories seemed to calm me down and relax me for the sumptuous delight of taking a long, warm bath in the most glorious tube I have ever seen. Once I had finally left the bath, Shalone dried my body and assisted me to put on the most lovely sleeping gown I had ever worn. Then I was asked to follow her to the “air bed.”
The Land of Sleep
I snuggled into the air bed. My body was clean and still tingling from the wonderful bath, my stomach was full, and my mind was totally at ease. All of this was because my dear Shalone had been caring for me in the loving manner that only she could do.
Before I knew it, I had passed over into what I thought was the “Land of Sleep.” However, this time the Land of Sleep seemed to be more awake. What I mean is that “I” was more awake. In fact, I felt more awake then I ever had felt during my daily life.
As soon as I had this thought, I could hear Shalone’s sweet voice saying, “You are on the other side of the Matrix dear.”
I did not know what she meant by that, and I was too relaxed to care. However, I was soon to find out. As I relaxed more and more into my “sleep” I began to see a swirling vortex. “Is this the “Vortex” that I have heard about for all my life,” I heard my dream self trying to talk to Shalone.
However, Shalone was not with me, and I was alone. This sensation of “alone” was quite different because I felt like there was life all around me, but I could not see or hear it. Then, suddenly, I heard a soft loving voice. It was not Shalone’s voice, but it was just as loving.
“We are all loving here,” whispered a chorus of voices into my heart.
“Wait,” I said, rather rudely I fear, “did you just read my mind?”
“Of course dear. That is how we communicate here.”
“Wait,” again I fear my voice was rude, “Where is here? The last I remember, I had just been tucked into a luscious bed and was just about to fall asleep. Am I asleep now? Are you a dream? And, by the way,” I am sure I was rude for this statement, “Who are you?”
“Oh dear, so many questions,” spoke a sweet and loving chorus of voices into my heart. However, the chorus did not speak in words. They spoke, almost sang, in tones and sounds that I had never heard before. But, somehow, I was able to understand what the “voices” were saying, singing, or maybe delivering directly into my heart and mind.
“Yes, yes, you are correct,” said a loving voice. “We are delivering our message directly into your heart and mind. Your heart can feel our Unconditional Love, and your mind can translate that sensation of “feeling love” into a language that you can understand.”
“But, but,” I stuttered, “how can that be? How can I understand what you are saying—no sending—to me?”
“You are very clever,” said the chorus. “We are saying our message to your mind, as well as sending it to your Heart/Mind.
“We see from your face that you are not familiar with the term ‘Heart/Mind.’ Therefore, we will explain it to you. Your Heart/Mind is activated when you synchronize your heart and mind to work as ONE. When your heart and mind work as ONE, your perceptions greatly expand.
“Then you will be able to know what our message is, no matter what language it is or how this language is delivered into your aura. For example, all that you have recently experienced has been because we discovered that you can receive and follow our Heart/Mind message with yourown Heart/Mind.”
“But I did not know I was doing that?” I interrupted. “I am so sorry,” I continued. “I keep interrupting you. Shalone, my mentor, has been teaching me patience, but I did not learn it well.”
“Our Dear, you are only impatient because it is the NOW for you to fully awaken. We have discovered that this “time of the NOW” can be very confusing for humans. Humans have been taught by their physical world that every thing, and every one, is ruled by time. However, we are here within your NOW to remind you that “time” is an illusion of the third dimension.
“Is that why I can have a very long dream and then wakeup to find that only a few minutes have passed in my waking world?”
“Yes, dear. You are very wise indeed. We are happy that we have chosen you to be one of our Leaders.”
“Oh, no, no, no.” I cried. “I cannot be a leader. I am just barely past being a child.”
“Yes dear. We are aware of that. In fact, part of the reason why we chose you is because you are just completing the innocence of childhood and growing into the wisdom of an adult.
“But we can see that you are confused. Please remember that this is a dream so you can release the restrictions of the polarities of third dimension and allow yourself to gently float into the higher dimensions of reality.”
I felt my self tighten up with my perceived challenge, that is until the voices said, “Just relax our ONE. Close your eyes and open your heart. Allow your imagination to create pictures in your mind that will lead you into what you have thought of as sleep.”
“But, I thought I was asleep and that this was a dream,” I tried to say, but I was loosing control of my speech, my concerns, and all the parts of me that had been saying all my life, “NO, you can’t do that!”
“No, No,” I heard my self try to say, but I could barely think. Something was happening. I seemed to be loosing all control, or was it my interest, in the world that now seemed so very far away. In fact, every thought, emotion and reaction seemed to float away as soon it entered my awareness.
Then, my consciousness seemed to float away. I don’t know how to explain that experience, but it was as if I was “All in All.” I was my body, the room, and I was the village that I lived in. In fact, I was all my friends and family in the village, and all the unknown woods that surrounded us.
Actually, the woods were no longer “unknown,” as I suddenly realized that I personally knew every rock, every tree, every plant and every bit of land, sky, and water. I was ONE with ALL life.
I am not saying that to show off. In fact, I have no interest in “showing off” because I did not care at all what others thought of me. However, at the same time, I found that I could love everyone in an unconditional manner.
I looked at some of my friends with whom I had been angry, or some of the adults that I felt I could not communicate. What I found was that I was so centered within my self, that all I could see was the part of others that was centered within their self.
Then, slowly, everything began to lift off from the ground on which we had built our lives. Slowly, everything began to slowly rise higher and higher into a frequency of reality that I had never known.
Yes, it was a place, which was NOT a place, were All was ONE and All was LOVE. However, this form of “love” was unlike any kind of love I had ever experienced. There was NO fear, NO worry, NO competition, NO illness, and NO sleeping and NO being awake.
It is very difficult for me to explain this reality because my physical self, who is sharing this experience, has no words that even begin to express what I am experiencing. Therefore, I just LET GO.
I don’t know what I “let go of,” because I forgot about my old fashioned need to “hold onto.” Every thought and every feeling was like a soft breeze that I experienced, and then released. However, my concept of “time” was released as well.
Therefore, I cannot say how long I was within that world. In fact, I tell this story with each word in a certain sequence so that you can understand what happened. However, as I return to this experience, I remember that there was NO Time, NO Sequence. There was only the NOW of that experience.
I do not know if I was within that experience for a second or a lifetime. But, I do remember that I did not care. I also did not need to care, or to remember, or to “do it right.” It all just “was.” And, I was fine with that. I was in such a wonderful, timeless NOW that I could only think of breathing in each experience, and enjoying each moment.
In fact, within each moment of this experience I was more “awake” than I could have ever imagined. The only thought I had was, “How can I remember this feeling while in my daily life?”
With that thought, I startled awake. “What was that?”
Then I heard a loving voice say, “Write down your experience while you are still in this state of consciousness, as you will forget it in the physical world.”
I awoke with a start, grabbed a paper and a pencil and wrote down my experiences. I am glad I doing so, because I am realizing that if I don’t write down these experiences, I quickly forget them.
In other words, if I want to remember my experiences I am having now, I have to write them down. Then, in the future, I will find this book and find what occurred in my past.
However, since having all my experiences, I am sure that “TIME is an illusion of the third dimension.”
The Flowing Time of the In-between
I left off saying, “Time is an illusion of the third dimension.” I realize now that I could not understand that concept until I had had my experiences. I also know that my dear Shalone joined me from “the other world.”
I am now hearing Shalone’s distant voice reminding me that this was my first experience of “the flowing time of the in-between.” This “time” was much like dream in which time seemed to shift and change.
I did not see anyone in their physical body. It seemed more like I was seeing them in their dream time. I remember one time when I fell asleep during one of our Group Meetings in which all the members of our Village united to sing and dance. Shortly after we all started singing, I feel asleep and had a dream.
In that dream I lived many years, and became a mentor who was much like my dear Shalone. In that “dream” I studied for many years with Shalone, became a Mentor for our people, and finally died at a very old age. When I returned from my reverie, I discovered that the group had not even finished the first stanza of their song.
When I asked Shalone how that could occur, she told me that I had been in “dream time,” which is very different from the awake time of our physical world. Shalone also told me that “dream time” was very similar to “the flowing time of the in-between.”
When I asked Shalone what “the flowing time of the in-between” meant she said, “The flowing time of the in-between” is no where and every where within the same NOW. The flowing time of the in-between is “where we are going” and “where we have always been.”
“What does that mean?” I asked her.
“My dear One,” she answered, “there are certain questions that can only be understood by personal experience. You will only understand “the flowing time of the in-between” while you are in it.
Then, the second that you leave it, you will totally forget your experience. However, you will remember that you had a wonderful experience about the way you wish you could spend the rest of your life.”
“OH,” I said in total confusion. When I looked into Shalone’s bright face she merely smiled and said, “There are certain things that you can only experience.”
I did not understand what Shalone meant by that sentence, but I think I am beginning to live it. I mean, I am beginning to experience something, which I think comes from inside of me that only I can experience.
It is as if there is a “me” who is beginning to exist that I have not known before. Yes, I know that my physical body is growing, and I am becoming a woman, but that is not what I am talking about.
I think what I am trying to say is that here is a “knowing” that has nothing to do with age, that takes me back and forth between the person that I am in a higher version of reality, and the person that I am in my physical world.
I do not know much about this other reality, but I am pretty sure that I often go there when I sleep. However, when I awake, I do not remember anything. However, I do have a same strange feeling that something very important has happened, but I cannot remember what.
As I write this experience in my journal, I am getting more and more frustrating. Where is Shalone? Why did she leave me? Did I do something wrong?
“No my dear,” I suddenly hear Shalone’s sweet voice. “I have never left you. However, I have been inside the Flowing Time of the In-between, that you speak of. Since that world is of a higher dimensions you cannot perceive me, but I can perceive you.
“What does that mean?” I ask in a very confused tone. “Does what you are talking about have something to do with the Flowing Time of the In between?”
“Yes, my dear,” Shalone answered in such a soft voice that I knew she would be leaving me soon. “You are correct dear, the Flowing Time is calling me. However, while you can still hear me, let me tell you that I have learned how to communicate with you from my higher dimensions.
“Therefore, whenever you want to talk to me, be sure to raise your consciousness into the higher dimensions. Then you will hear me.”
“Wait, wait,” I cried knowing that I was loosing contact with Shalone again. “Please tell me more.” But, the only answer I could hear from Shalone was, “Learn to listen to the higher dimensions.”
And then Shalone was gone . I called her again and again saying, “How do I listen to the higher dimensions. In fact, what is a “higher dimension?” It was then that I realized that I would need to listen more closely to whatever she told me.
It seemed that the farther away, which I guess meant that she was in a higher dimensions, the more difficult it was to hear her. But, I did not even know what a dimension was. I was sure that no one in the village would be able to assist me, so off to the Learning Tree I would need to go.
I waited until just before dawn to leave. Fortunately, I had learned how tell myself to wake up at any certain time. I guess that was because I was always creeping around the village in the early morning and late night.
I found that when I was alone I could get much more information about what was “really happening.” I always had this gift, or was it a curse, where I needed to know that which most people would never think about.
Hence, I did not get this information form people, except for Shalone. Instead, I got my information from nature. In fact, it seemed like only the nature that surrounded us was able to tap into the Flowing Time of the In Between.
At lease, I imagined that Nature was tapping into this flowing time that somehow flowed “between” us humans, but into the awareness of the animals. I had always thought that animals were more connected to Nature than humans were.
“You are quite correct,” said a voice that I did not recognize, but it did seem to be of a male orientation. However, the heart-space of this being was as soft and gentle as Shalone’s.
“Are you Shalone in another form?” I asked the voice, as I had no visual image of this being.
“You can see me if you wish. Most humans are afraid to see me, so I usually remain cloaked.”
“Oh, I do so wish to see you. Has Shalone sent you to me?”
I saw the smile before I saw the face, but somehow, that seemed natural.
“You are not actually seeing me with your physical eyes. Instead, you are perceiving me with your consciousness. But, that is quite easy for you to do, is it not dear one?”
“Ah, ah, yes.” I stammered.
Then I heard what was much like a laugh that felt like a blessing. I was so overtaken by the “feel” of that laugh that I slowly started to “flow out of time.”
“Yes, dear One,” answered my new friend.
“I am here to assist you on your first experience of the flowing time of the in-between.”
My journey began with a strange sensation that I was moving, no it was more like dancing, within an invisible energy field. At least, I think it was an energy field because I felt engulfed by a feeling which was much like warm air. However, this “air” was constantly moving and swirling around me.
Sometimes the energy field of this new kind of air appeared to be loving and guiding me. And then, suddenly, the sensation of this “air” would completely disappear that I thought that I was just imagining it. “
“Of course you are imagining it! After all, imagination is fifth dimensional thought,” whispered an unseen voice.
“Who are you?” I cried, not bothering to attend to the important message I had just received.
“If you don’t listen to what I am saying to you,” spoke the unseen voice, “I will leave you alone here.”
“Wait, wait,” I cried. “Please don’t leave me. I don’t know where I am. Therefore, how could get back?”
“Back where?” said the voice in a very impatient manner.
“Please, Mr., or is it Mrs., Voice, I cannot see you, so I don’t know who you are.”
“Why would think that you should see me, or that somehow, I could take you back to wherever it is you want to return to?” said the Voice in a rather rude and unpleasant voice.
“Well,” said the voice, “What do you expect. You summon me in my most sacred NOW, and then you complain that you can’t see me. No one can see me, including myself. I am a voice. Why do I need a body?”
“I am so sorry dear Voice. I did not want to insult you or bother you in any way. It is just that I have newly arrived here from another world, and I don’t know the rules of your reality.”
“Rules?” questioned the Voice. “What are “rules?” We do not have that term, and likely we do not have that concept in our world. But, I am not sure, as I do not know the term “rules.”
“Dear Voice,” I said as calmly and politely as I could, “I also do not know about your world. I come from what they call the ‘physical world.’ In my world we are all ruled by time, space, separation, and individuality.”
“What is ‘individuality?” questioned Voice. “In my world we sometimes talk about the ‘ancient times’ when there was time and space which created an illusion of separation. Therefore, some ‘times’ we could perceive that there was ‘space’ in-between our form and the form of other life-forms. However, we have never heard of the term, ‘individuality.’ Can you tell me what that term means?”
It was about then that I started to grow impatient with this conversation. How could I communicate with a being that did not have a sense of individuality? How could this being even know who was who?
“Well,” said the Voice in a voice that made me realize that I had somehow insulted it. “we know who is who because we can feel, see and hear their energy field and thoughts. Do you realize how difficult it is for me to talk with you in separate words that need to somehow we strung in a line, which you call a sentence?”
“Oh, please forgive me,” I said. “I am not accustomed to your world, and I think I got frightened by something that was so different from what I know. Then, in my fear, I think I sounded impatient and rude. Yes, I was impatient, but not with you.”
“Well, we are the only ones here. Are you saying that you became impatient with your self?”
“Yes, dear Voice, I was, and still am, impatient with my self. In fact, I cannot remember a time in my life when I did not feel impatient with my inability to understand so much of what I perceived. You see, dear Voice, I am very different from everyone in my world, except for my Spiritual Mentor, Shalone.
“And now Shalone has left me, and I am so very confused and lonely. Why am I so different from everyone else? Why can’t I just be like everyone else?”
“Oh, dear Shara Lynn, it would be a great disservice to you, and to your Village, if you were to diminish your self to be like the others.”
“Wait, wait!” I cried out rudely. “How do you know my name, and what do you know about my Village?”
“Dear Shara Lynn,” the Voice said with utmost patience and kindness. “There is a great deal that I know about you and about your Village. I have been assigned to assist you because your former mentor, Shalone, has been called to another important duty.”
I was so pleased to know that I had a new, very kind and patient mentor, that I started to cry. I realize now that I was really crying, as I knew that I would likely not see Shalone again, but perhaps this kind being would assist me.
“Dear Shara Lynn,” said the Voice. “I am known in my world by a name that you could not pronounce. Therefore, please call me by a name that brings you comfort and confidence, as I am assigned to assist you on the next portion of your journey.”
I was so overwhelmed that I began to cry again. I cried because of the loss of Shalone in my life. I cried for the gratitude that I felt for all Shalone had done for me, and I cried because I knew that my childhood was over.
And, I cried because I was afraid that I would not be able to live up to the great opportunity that was now being offered to me. My tears fell down my face, and I became embarrassed by my sadness. Suddenly, I felt a warm, comforting energy surround me. However, when I finally wiped my eyes clear of tears, the Voice was not touching me.
“How can that be?” I thought.
“Unconditional Love has no distance, as it resonates beyond space and time.”
“Does that mean that you love me unconditionally,” I asked.
When that same warm, comforting energy surrounded me again, I knew my answer.
ENTRY FROM LISA
Lisa here. It took me 34 pages before I found the courage to really engage myself with this amazing story, not the mention finding my own courage in the manner as this courageous young girl.
I feel bad writing in this journal, but where else do I feel that I can be so honest with my self. Reading about the courage of the young girl called Shara Lynn has made me realize that I too was quite a courage child and teen. How, and where, did I loose that courage?
Perhaps if I continue reading, I will find a way to find my courage. Or, maybe I can find some unconditional love—whatever that means.
Unconditional Love in Action
I was quite surprised to realize that Unconditional Love is a feeling. But, at least for me, the “feeling” of Unconditional Love does not really come from what people give to me. Instead, Unconditional Love arises from what I give to others. Also, these “others” are not necessarily humans.
The power of Unconditional Love, once given away, will heal and protect a person. But it will also protect and fulfill the one who gave that Unconditional Love to another. I also realized that Unconditional Love is not only about person to person. In fact, it is actually easier to remember to give Unconditional Love to an animal, a garden, a tree, or a cloud.
Unconditional Love is a gift to be given to any, and all, parts of our life that have nurtured and educated us. Maybe I do not understand Unconditional Love because I have never given my self unconditional love.
I think that, maybe, I have to understand myself first. However, lately it seems that I have not been able to find enough “solid ground” in my life to take on the challenge of understanding, accepting and giving unconditional love.
I think the reason for this is because I cannot remember anyone who has given me “unconditional” love, except Shalone. With all the other people I know, either they love me if I do something for them, or the ignore me if I don’t do something for them.
I always believed that that happens to me because I am always engaging with, and loving, non-human beings. I think I love humans, but it seems that my love with humans is often conditional. “They will love me if I love them… But, they will not love me, if you don’t love them. It is all very confusing for me.
However, when I am with Nature, with no other humans, I feel love all around me. I know that I love all the beings of Nature, and I can feel, not a human love, but a sense of being loved by the Nature that surrounds me.
Shalone, always told me that that was my blessing and my curse. I never knew what that meant, and she never told me.
OH, I do soooo miss Shalone. “Why did she leave me, and when will she come back?”
I cried up to the sky. But the sky was silent, as were the trees, flowers and all of Nature.
What is going on? I have never experienced Nature as being so quiet.
“Please, please, answer me!” I cried out into the woods and up into the sky. But the woods and the sky were silent.
Perhaps I need to go back out into Nature in order to speak to them. Yes, yes, that is it. I will pack a basket of food for myself, as well as some “goodies” for whatever creatures I meet, and have a “discussion” with Mother Nature. Yes, I can love Mother Nature unconditionally. I can love Her when it is raining, sunny, hot, cold, on the planes, the ponds and in the forest.
“Yes, I do so love Mother Nature!” I said to myself as I packed my bag. “Yes, I will wrap up my sleeping blanket and take that too. I may be gone for days.” I wrote out a quick note for my family telling them I have gone back into the woods, just to make sure they did not worry about me.
However, I have never had the experience of my family worrying about me. For a minute I wondered if that was because they did not really love me. But I decided instead to love them Unconditionally and be grateful for the freedom and loving acceptance that they always had for me—I think??
I mean, I think they love me, but it was never the way that Shalone loved me, or even the manner in which Nature seems to love me. “Why am I so different?” I cried out into the sky. Then, when I opened the door, with my pack on my back, and saw the glory of Nature awaiting me.
It was then that I began to understand Unconditional Love.
When I say that I began to understand it, I mean that I accepted that Unconditional Love is not something to understand or even accept. Unconditional love is what we have come to GIVE AWAY.
I decided then, that as I walked out into the woods this time, I would make sure to give away my Unconditional Love to every living thing that I encountered.
I slipped out the back door of our small cabin so no one would see me leaving with so much food and sleeping gear. I think it was about then that I began to wonder if that was an unconditionally loving act.
Why did I need to slip out like a “thief in the night?” Why didn’t I tell anyone where I was going and when I would be back.
Then, suddenly, a wave of overwhelming sadness came over me. “No one cares!” I heard screaming in my head. “I want to go out into Nature because NO people care about me,” I said with a loud voice filled with sorrow and anger.
“Do you ever give them a chance to love you?” I heard in my head.
“Shalone, Shalone, is that you?” I cried up through the roof our small home. When there was NO answer, I grabbed my bags, left the house, left the Village via my “private path,” and said, “OK no one loves me here, so I’m leaving!”
As I marched off into the forest, I felt tears of anger rolling down my face. I ignored them and walked faster. Then my nose began to run along with the growing amount of tears. I wiped by nose with the sleeve of my shirt and walked faster. However, I could not walk fast enough to leave behind my sorrow, or was it self-pity.
Fortunately, as I walked deeper and deeper into the forest, the calm breeze dried my tears, the birds chattered louder as I walked past them, and my baby deer friend ran from its mother to receive my love.
As I hugged the baby dear, and saw that it’s mother deer trusted me with her offspring, I began to calm my mind. The baby deer licked my face, then ran back to it’s mother.
Then a huge Blue Jay landed on a limb just above my head and shared it’s bird song with me. The Sun shown brighter through the trees, and the many insects bused around me looking for food.
“Yes,” I said out loud, “This place, these trees, these birds, these animals ALL live by “unconditional love!”
They all love me unconditionally. I know, I feel that they do not come to me just for food, but for the affection that I always gave them. They perch above me, find the closest limb to my head, beside me, or relax close by to me. It was then that I realized that I had no idea where I was.
I was in such a state when I ran from the house with my heavy pack, that I paid NO attention at all to where I was going. But, that is not quite correct. My mind did not go where I was going because my thoughts were too negative and distracting.
However, my heart knew just where I needed to be. I needed to be surrounded by Unconditional Love. Then, perhaps, I could learn, or remember, how to unconditionally love my self.
ENTRY FROM LISA
My tears have fallen on the transcript, so I have carefully, and lovingly, used my skirt to gently wipe them from the page. Can I wipe my sadness away from my heart as simply as I have wiped my tears from this page?
I don’t have the answer to that question, but like young, courageous Zara Lynn, I will go on myjourney to find my answers. I will stay right in this house and take “A journey of the Heart” to remember how to unconditionally love my self!